In marriage, as in war, it is permitted to take every advantage of the enemy.
If your wife laughs at your joke, it means you either have a good joke, or a good wife.
My wife and I have a secret to making a marriage last.Twice a week we go to a nice restaurant, a little wine, good food….She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays.
She: I don’t think I’d marry the best man on earth.
He: If you marry me you wouldn’t be taking that risk.
I haven’t spoken to my wife in 18 months. I don’t like to interrupt her.
It doesn’t matter how often a married man changes his job, he still ends up with the same boss.